HOW TO NOT BE SPITEFUL

Ladies, we have come along way in society. It is the 21st century, and we must now conquer what may be the toughest of our many obstacles: How NOT to be the spiteful ex. But you’re not the spiteful ex, right? Your friends are but not you, right? Right.

Break-ups suck. They just do. They’re messy and complicated. It is as if suddenly your life is full of silence and loss. You follow yourself down to the deepest hells of your imagination. You cry. You try to make sense of it all. “Why?” We all say it. We all do it. Why? Because break-ups suck. They just do. However, there comes a point where you throw down the Kleenex and with blazing glory comes the anger. Oh, the anger! Out of nowhere “It’s all his fault!” You don’t cry anymore, you scream! You’re filled with venom. I was too, so I went for broke.

Good Ex Rules

Rule 1: Get rid of reminders of him. Throw away all photos, love letters, and movie ticket stubs. Not the jewelry though, those were gifts, right? If you can’t stand to trash the goods make an “ex-box”. Put the tokens of his former affections in a shoebox and tuck it deep (very deep) inside your closet. Out of sight; out of mind, right? Right.

Rule 2: Leave him alone. You have to. I know how hard this rule is but you just have to. Men are like rubber bands. If they are truly yours they will eventually return. Calling, e-mailing, and text messaging him all the time won’t bring him back. If you’re checking his twitter page more than 3 times a day, you’re torturing yourself. Take a deep breath and un-follow the guy.

Rule 3: Leave his friends alone. It is a tricky thing being friends with your ex’s friends. But, you have to remember that at the end of the day they’re his friends. Their loyalty is to him and you are only straining your ex’s relationship with his friend by putting him in the middle. If you’re truly trying to get on with your life, having that constant reminder of your ex is not going to help you do it.

Rule 4: Don’t hate his new girlfriend. He is allowed to date other people! You’re not his girlfriend anymore and she is. He is hers, and you have to accept it. It’s not her fault you two broke up (unless it is in which case Rule 4 does NOT apply). Be polite. Being rude to her definitely won’t put you in your ex’s good graces. Being petty doesn’t show conviction.

Rule 5: Get a Life. That was harsh to say, I know. You may still have a life after a break-up but, if that’s the case what are you so mad about? If you think your ex is such scum why do you want him back?

At a loss? I was too.

That said, you should be halfway to recovery and the nearest party!

At the end of the day I like to go by the saying “Resentment is letting someone you hate, live rent free in your heart.” Letting go is hard for every one, hell I’ve been the crazy ex before but, I remembered that I wasn’t loving my ex-boyfriend by wishing bad things would happen to him. I wasn’t caring for him by wanting him to feel pain. So, I let him go, and I received his equal. This is boring you though, right? Because you’re not the crazy ex, right? Your friends are but not you, right? Right.